Hello again! Today's topic is one that is close to my heart- much of my research on exercise and nature focuses on these two types of motivations: approach and avoidance. "Motivation" is what energizes us to do something, and there are LOTS of types of motivation. One in particular that I am interested in is the approach/avoidance lens. Approach motivation is what energizes us to approach (physically or mentally) things that we perceive as pleasurable, such as personal satisfaction, acceptance, acknowledgement, rewards (food, power, money, etc.). Avoidance motivation is what energizes us to avoid things (physically or mentally) that we perceive as unpleasant, such as embarrassment, rejection, danger of being hurt/killed.
Some of the things we approach or avoid are pretty simple, and obvious, right? We approach cooking when we are hungry, so we can experience the pleasure of food/feeling full. We approach socializing with friends/family to feel connected and accepted. We approach challenging situations, to varied degrees, because we enjoy getting better at stuff, and feeling accomplished. We avoid dangerous situations so we don't get hurt, we avoid situations where we worry we might embarrass ourselves, we hesitate to ask someone out on a date for fear of being rejected. But it isn't always that simple. Sometimes we are taught, or choose to believe, that something is far more unpleasant than reality suggests, such as the fear of being rejected or embarrassed. We might avoid trying something meaningful out of that same fear. Research tells us a lot about these motivations, mostly that there are certainly times when avoidance motivation is good, it helps us stay out of danger or trouble. But there are many more times when we would be better off by choosing to approach situations instead of avoiding them. For instance, the risk of embarrassing yourself when trying something new is often times worth the risk when you weigh it with the reward of the experience, the memory of your attempt, the satisfaction of saying you tried, and maybe even succeeded! Research tell us we have more regret for the things we didn't do than the things we did, even the things we did that turned out badly. So, approaching challenging situations, situations where the outcome is unknown, well, as long as we are not breaking the law (although sometimes that might be necessary, too) or hurting ourselves or someone else, it is probably a good risk to take.
Right now, our avoidance motivations are probably running pretty high, as there are a lot of circumstances right now that are potentially unpleasant or dangerous: COVID-19, and the civil unrest across the US and other parts of the world, for starters. So it is natural that the avoidance motivation that keeps us safe is likely to creep into other areas where it might not belong. Avoiding your friends/family? Avoiding challenges in your work? Avoiding exercise, or going outside? Avoiding your purpose, the topic of yesterday's blog? This has to stop! We can switch between approach and avoidance, but we cannot experience them both at the same time. So, while we activate our avoidance motivation to stay safe, we need to think about consciously turning on our approach motivation for other activities that are important for survival, for our health, for our sense of purpose, and for our pleasure. By the way, you may not be surprised to find out that approach motivation tendencies (a person's regular preference for approaching challenge or pleasure, even when it is uncomfortable) have been linked to longevity, life satisfaction, success in college, success in the workplace, success in social settings and relationships. So, we do need it to live long and live well.
Your task today: to think about what challenges, what pleasurable experiences you can approach with intention today or over the weekend. A new hobby, a new recipe, a new song you want to sing/play/create, a new exercise, a new project for work (or home), a new someone you want to connect with, a new goal, a renewed sense of purpose. Take a walk, sit in the comfort of your own thoughts in silence, savor the world around you while also savoring your thoughts and goals. What is it you can energize your thoughts and actions to do or achieve?
The energy you will gain from just thinking about this might surprise you. The dullness we are all feeling while weekdays bleed into weekends, weeks bleed into months, time passes, COVID-19 stays, unrest continues, we can feel hopeless (another talk for another day soon), and lose hope and energy. So, think. Plan. What can you focus your energy on or toward? What risk are you willing to take in order to feel alive, feel a sense of purpose, feel rejuvenated, feel good about yourself for accomplishing, or striving to accomplish something now? It doesn't have to be huge! My goal this week was to start writing regularly again, and here I am .... :) You've got this. There is a whole lot of chaos around us, so let's focus our minds, calm the chaos for a bit, and approach our world with some renewed energy and intention.
Onward!
Chris
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