In previous posts, I have written about the difference between internal and external loci of control, and the benefits and drawbacks of both. As a refresher, locus of control is the attitude we each have about the causes of our experiences and the factors that contribute to our successes or failures. With an internal locus of control, you are likely to attribute your successes, and failures, to your own doing or lack of doing. With an external locus of control, you are likely to attribute those same successes for failures to external sources.
When I explain these concepts to my students, the example I often use is their performance on an exam. If you have a high level of internal locus of control and you perform well on an exam, you are likely to attribute that success to your hard work, your study strategies and efforts, your knowledge of the material, your test taking abilities, and your general student abilities. If you do poorly on that same exam, with a high level of internal locus of control, you are likely to blame yourself for not studying enough or correctly, for being a bad test taker, or for being a 'bad student'. Any or none of these may be correct. For instance, if you studied hard and are generally a good student or test taker, it could be that you performed poorly on an exam because it was incredibly difficult, the material on the exam was not the material you studied (which could be a mistake on your part or poor direction by the instructor), or the exam was poorly constructed. Not your fault. If you internalize your performance when the more accurate assessment puts the fault to external sources, you are being unduly hard on yourself, and over time that can be detrimental to your performance, motivation, self-esteem, and general well-being.
On the other hand, if you are more likely to be high on external locus of control, attributing your successes or failures to other sources besides yourself, you can experience some other, very different, issues. That same exam, for instance. If you perform well, you may say it was luck, or the professor made the test too easy. Which may be true, or it may be that you are discounting your efforts or your abilities. If your perform poorly on that exam, you may say it was bad luck, it was the professor's fault for making a difficult test, it was your sibling's fault for distracting you from your studies, your friends' fault for 'dragging you out to party' before the test, or a host of other excuses. Maybe those things did happen, maybe you are not owning that you allowed some of those to happen, which is an internal attribution of cause. Too much external locus of control over time, cedes your sense of responsibility or motivation to take control of your life and impact the outcomes. It can be debilitating, too. You can feel as if your goals, needs, or interests are not important, which can lead to some very dissatisfying emotional responses and outcomes. Lack of motivation (why try if luck is against me) is a huge risk, too.
So, I hope you have figured out that a little bit of both internal and external control are both healthy. In balance, not too much of either, but most importantly, as an accurate reflection of what is actually happening. This takes time to determine, if an experience our outcome is internally driven or externally caused. It requires self-reflection, which can sometimes be a little uncomfortable, but in the long run is necessary for our success and our well-being.
One thing I have noticed in my life, and research supports this, is that when the external world seems chaotic, I tend to try to focus more energy on controlling internally. So, when the world is a shit show like it is right now, I gain a lot of relief from organizing my closets and my mind. Controlling what I can control, more than usual. This is healthy to a degree, as it helps us relieve some of the stress we feel about the things we feel are impacting us and that we cannot control. But it can also get in the way of our relationships, and our well-being. I live alone right now, so my occasional whirlwind cleaning sessions don't impact anyone but myself. But if I were living with anyone, those strong urges to reorganize, or bake ridiculous amounts of bread, might be problematic for our relationship. I hope you see how that can impact your interactions with others. It also impacts our well-being in other ways - by trying so hard to control what we can control, we may miss out on opportunities to realize that there are times when giving in or leaning into the problems, the chaos, is what we really need to do. Only you can decide for yourself if leaning in or reorganizing your life is the answer, but it is worth taking time to consider.
Right now, I imagine there are a lot of people, myself included, that are feeling very uncomfortable about the things we cannot control. Like whether other people abide by CDC guidelines for the pandemic. Or whether other people understand and recognize systemic racism or the many injustices that are being uncovered by the chaos we call 2020. But, we can organize and bake and use that time to self-reflect and plan our actions and attitudes that ARE in our control. Can you DO something to respond to these issues? If so, do. If not, then maybe you can think about how you can manage the discomfort of being out of control. How can you deal with those emotions and realities? That is a hypothetical question, because it is a huge question with many many answers, some of which I have been attempting to address in this whole series of posts for pandemic resilience. Resilience is, after all, our ability to push through, to succeed, to continue with our lives and our goals despite the challenges we face. Let's be resilient. Let's NOT give in to the chaos.
Be well, stay safe, and take care.