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Hello, again, and welcome to yet another day of pandemic resilience. I hope this day finds you well.
In previous posts I have spoken to the value of internal locus of control, and to a willingness for forge ahead in challenging and unknown territory (see approach motivation). I want to expand on that a little bit, and talk about a specific way we can access approach motivation and locus of control in ways that you may not have previously thought. And in particular, a way that will help you experience less stress when we already have more than our share of it.
As a woman of ambition, I learned a long time ago that I had to forge ahead like a steam roller to get where I wanted to be in my professional life (and other areas, too, but that is another story). Over time, I have learned how to act and think with precision on a goal, and to forge ahead, depriving myself of sleep or social interaction as part of the process toward meeting that lofty goal. I have fortunately met a lot of the lofty goals I have set (not all of them, yet...), but I have also sacrificed a lot along the way. That is not the point, though. The point is that sometimes, we have to turn off the steam roller, open our gaze a little wider than the pin point of focus on the goal, and think. About the mission. And the context in which we are living. Is the goal (mission) still the same when you are living in a pandemic, or any other unexpected context? Sometimes the answer is yes, the goal remains the same. Sometimes, however, the goal may change. And that is okay. That is necessary sometimes. It is not a sign of weakness to change the goal when your context changes. It may actually be a sign of wisdom, according to research.
Our ability to recognize when a goal is necessary to continue working toward, and when it is in our better interest, given unexpected circumstances, to change the goal does not have some scientific formula. You cannot use some calculation, where you enter in your goal and your circumstances and out pops the 'correct' decision. That is what makes cognitive flexibility, in particular our ability or willingness to be open to change, so tough. How do you know if you are making the right decision? Often times it comes down to intuition, or wisdom. What are the possible outcomes and costs of continuing toward the goal, and is that cost/benefit analysis acceptable? What are the possible outcomes and costs of changing the goal, even if changing the goal is either simply changing the timeline or is a complete change of course? Is the cost/benefit analysis acceptable?
This is not an easy process, and no one can do this for you. That is where your willingness to face challenges (approach motivation) and to acknowledge your internal locus of control (I have control over either the situation or my response to the situation) are vital. If you have neither of these variables, you are likely to either give up on the goal when things are tough, or incorrectly think you have to continue to forge ahead toward the goal, no matter what. Both of these may be false conclusions, and are worth taking the time to consider.
So, has the pandemic, or any other unexpected event, made your plans difficult? Not surprising, if the answer is yes. Similarly, has the pandemic, or any other unexpected event, made your attitude or value system or priorities difficult? Also not surprising if the answer is yes. Difficult circumstances often provide opportunities, welcomed or not, to consider our thoughts, attitudes, values, and priorities. That is a crucial part of being an ever evolving human being. Cognitive psychologists refer to this is post-formal operational thought: Being willing to change your mind when you have new information. Or at a minimum, being willing to be comfortable with the fact that other people have differing opinions that are, possibly, equally as 'right' to them as your ideas are 'right' to you. Does that sound like a crisis human beings might be experiencing right now? A lack of post-formal operational thought? I would suggest we might be seeing that currently. The lack of post-operational thought may lead to angry divisiveness, and even violence. The presence and practice of post-formal operational thought leads to progress and growth, and is also where we see empathy and compassion strengthened.
So, cognitive flexibility helps us recognize that our plans, and our minds, sometimes need to change when unexpected circumstances are present. Being willing to change your plans (which is not always the best choice, but sometimes it is...), or at least consider it, can reduce our stress and help us make decisions that are better, as those circumstances change. Being willing to change our minds helps us grow as human beings, becoming more aware, more compassionate, more understanding human beings.
So, while yoga might help you with physical flexibility, strengthening your cognitive flexibility can be done with other exercises:
1. Talk to people who think differently than you do. Learn about how and why they think what they do. This can be about differences in culture, politics, religion, or many other elements of the human experience.
2. Take time to be still and reflect on your life, and your current situation(s).
3. Change your routines, so you become more comfortable with variation. This can be your route to work, your morning routine, or simply trying a new food.
4. When possible, and safe, say yes to new experiences.
5. Recognize that change is good, even if it is scary. Life is an adventure.
The current pandemic is caused me to take some time to reflect on my life, on multiple occasions the last 6 months, and even this past weekend. Taking time to review your life, your goals, and your stress levels is a good temperature check for yourself. Think of it as preventative medicine for the soul.
Until tomorrow....
Be well, stay safe, and take care.
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