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Writer's pictureChris Weinkauff Duranso

Shake It Up: Start Over (What is Your New Normal Going to Be?)


I have spent a lot of time lately, thinking/dreaming/anticipating what life will be like 'after the pandemic is over'. Have you?


First let me state the obvious: The pandemic won't just 'end' one day. It will slowly, hopefully not too slowly, become less of the health concern it is and has been for the past year, as case rates, hospitalization rates, and death rates go down and immunizations go up.


It is safe to say that 'returning to normal' has been a world-wide conversation. A worthwhile theme for mind wandering, providing hope that there will soon BE some sort of normalcy, and that we can live in it.


I will argue, as many psychologists and scientists have already, that 'returning to normal' is really not an accurate conception of the post-pandemic world. As a developmental psychologist, I know that our experiences change us. And the past year has provided us a lot of experiences that have likely changed each one of us, for good or bad, in a variety of ways.


As a developmental psychologist, and positive psychologist, I know from research that experiences influence the way we see the world, ourselves, and others. It provides us with opportunities to evaluate our priorities, our relationships, and our sense of purpose. To hope for a 'return to normal' is to rob ourselves of the opportunity to learn, grow, and evaluate our lives because of the experiences we have had this past year.


So, I encourage you to think differently about what the future holds. Avoid short cutting the lessons, hard lessons for certain, that 2020 thrust upon us. Look and move forward to a new normal instead of looking back at your pre-pandemic life as something you wish to embrace and experience again.


Of course there are things we wish we could have again, and may not be able. People, jobs, relationships, money: All lost. Things you may very well want to have in your life again but cannot. And yet, there are other things, people, objects, experiences that you may have previously found important and meaningful that you now realize are not.


Take this time to rethink. Re-prioritize. Re-evaluate. Reconsider. Are those relationships healthy or helpful? Are those 'things', those objects, really important? Are those activities helping you thrive?


This is the time, the opportunity, to shake up your life and redraw it, if you want. Like that old etch-a-sketch, if you determine it is time to draw a new picture of your life, just give it a nice hard shake. And start again.


This can be frightening. Maybe you are still holding onto the grief for all of the loss this past year. I am. You are not alone. But you can also carve out time to redraw the future. Think of it as an adventure. You have survived so far, and that is something worth celebrating. This past year may have been filled with pain, grief, loss, hunger, fear, uncertainty, and even violence. But those things don't have to consume you or your life. You can build on them, become stronger, more empathic, more compassionate, or clear minded, more purposeful.


What will you take from this year of incredible challenge? Will you 'return to normal', or will you build a new normal? I vote for the adventure, the challenge, the thrilling yet frightening uncertainty of new beginnings. New challenges and struggles come with it, but so does new opportunity, new experiences, new relationships, new.... life.


Give it a go! You've got this!


Until then, though... get vaccinated and follow those CDC guidelines. Those scientists know pandemics better than anyone else.


And, of course...


Be well, stay safe, and take care.



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