Anxious. We are all feeling more anxious these days, and with good reason. Whether you were a worrier before the pandemic or one who lived in a regular state of zen, we are all in a new place now. With the pandemic still raging, a battle between science and politics, civil unrest, economic uncertainty, upcoming elections in the US, and questions about to school or not to school... well, there are a lot of reasons to feel rising levels of anxiety. So, how do we deal with this anxiety?
One approach to steer away from is the avoidance route. Denying or avoiding the feels of worry and anxiety will not make them go away, but will likely allow them to come to a low boil under the surface of your consciousness, where they will continue to grow into a full boil at some point. The low boil, the denial or avoidance route, does not help us deal with the source or the feelings at all. While we may drink, sleep, eat, or binge watch Netflix to take our mind off of the stressors that surround us, that doesn't alleviate the anxiety or the impact it has on our well-being. I am guilty of this, so please, don't judge anyone for trying these strategies. Even the best stress managers have a breaking point, and I think we have tipped the scale for being able to balance our stress with what the world is hurling at us right now. The anxiety paradox is that while we attempt to alleviate our stress by avoiding or denying it (with alcohol, food, sleep, TV), the stress persists. And those behaviors are not all that enjoyable, at least not as much as they could be if we weren't using them to avoid our stress. Sleeping isn't quite restful, the TV programs are not as enjoyable, and that drink with your housemate/spouse or by yourself just doesn't have the entertainment value it did pre-pandemic. So, those behaviors don't help us alleviate our stress, they prolong and aggravate the stress!
So, what do we do so get to some sort of zen place when we are dealing with so much right now? Well, it isn't realistic to say we can find true peace right now, but, there are some things we can do to manage our stress response in a healthy way.
When you feel stressed out and you are tempted to vegetate in front of the TV, have another snack, pour a drink, or hide out on social media, consider walking away from the kitchen and technology.
Put down the devices, turn off the TV.
Be in the moment. Be IN the silence (it might be uncomfortable at first, but stick with it).
Allow yourself to FEEL the anxiety, the worry, the stress.
Speak it out loud, to yourself.
I am worried that I might get the virus. I am worried that I might get someone else sick. I am angry that I have to stay home. I am worried about going back to work. I am lonely. I am bored. I am sad.
Stay there. Feel it. The first time might be a bit intense, but it gets easier each time you practice this emotional awareness. Name your feelings. Say them out loud. Yell them if you want. Cry. Get angry. Just let it happen.
You just let your emotional 'low boil' vent! You just let all the steam out of that unconscious process, and it is likely that you feel a sense of relief right now! Awesome! You haven't taken the stressors away, the world is still sort of a shit show right now, but the more you practice this process of being mindfully aware of your emotions and emotional experiences, the easier it is to manage them, and the less overwhelming the feel. And they are not accumulating into a full on heavy rolling boil!
What is next? Well, this might feel so good that you want to live in it for a bit -maybe meditate a bit (I will talk about meditation tomorrow!!!). But if may also feel energizing and you want to do something with that energy. That is when we tap into some previous blog topics!
Go outside, go for a walk of you can, without technology. Spend some time in green space (or blue space, near water). Acknowledge the need for some avoidance motivations, that will keep us from going into crowded places right now, and will motivate us to put on our mask when we go outside (avoiding danger). Recognize that we can intentionally activate our approach motivations and find some meaningful actions to take right now, to help.
For instance, I sought out local mask makers to purchase locally made masks from companies that are owned by people of color, so I could spend my money locally, and support people of color in my community. I approached a huge problem, civil unrest and economic uncertainty that is felt even more by people of color, and I took action (even small actions help) by buying those masks.
You can do this, too. Take action. Become mindfully aware of your emotions. Don't ignore or deny them. Don't procrastinate by filling your time with things that will only delay your ability to manage these emotions, and will also likely antagonize them. Allow yourself to feel the emotions honestly and fully. Then release that pressure and put the energy to good use! Walk, funnel the energy into meaning, purposeful action that will hopefully contribute to solutions to those stressful issues!!!
Take care!
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