This morning, I am reflecting on what a strange holiday season it has been so far. The world is still struggling with a pandemic and all of the effects it has on our way of life. Holidays spent without family or friends for many (myself included), and for too many, employment, housing and food insecurity.
On one hand, we have the hope found in vaccinations that are already being distributed around the world. On the other hand, we have far too many people ignoring the scientists' warnings about maintaining distance, avoiding traveling and gatherings, and masking. So, while so many are dealing with the very real difficulties of life in a pandemic, others are ignoring its existence and carrying on with life 'as usual', which makes those who are missing holidays with friends or family, or the real struggles of housing and food uncertainty, even more difficult.
So, hear we are, in a time of year that is typically filled with celebration and connection, and many are experiencing disconnection, and continued uncertainty. How do we make sense of this? I have no clue. I have spent months trying to understand, from a psychological perspective, why we are in this mess.
But the 'why' is not today's topic.
The 'what' is the topic for today.
What can we do? In previous posts, I have written about the value of helping others, and how that contributes to our own well-being. For those who can do something for others, now is the time to do it! Donate money to local causes such as local food banks. Blankets, too. Many people are in need of blankets or winter coats. Help people directly, if you know individuals who are suffering. I heard an interview on the radio yesterday. A woman cried while telling of her friends' generosity in paying her rent for several months, so she wouldn't get evicted! This is a great way to help those you know who are unemployed or underemployed right now.
If you are in need, let people know. Reach out. For some, this may be very difficult to do. I know I struggle to ask people for help in even the smallest of ways. But this is not the time to hide behind your pride. This is the time for us all to help each other, and for those in need, this is the time to reach out for help. From friends, family, and local resources.
For those in need who struggle asking for help, please know that those of us who CAN help benefit emotionally from helping you.
One issue we all can probably relate to is the feeling of being out of control right now. For all of 2020, most of us have probably felt like so many things that are happening are out of our control.
Research suggests that one way we can counteract that is by taking control of whatever we can. One thing we can control is how and when we help others. Again, according to research, helping others satisfies an internal need for purpose, and from a survival perspective, helps us recognize that when we help others, it in some way is an investment in our future need potential. If we help someone today, we can feel confident that others will help us in our time of need, too.
So, you see, asking others to help you actually helps them, too.
The only way we are going to make it through all of this chaos is to get through it together. I have heard that, as I am sure you have also, so many times. There is truth in it. With all of the uncertainty, the anger, the frustration, and the divisiveness, we must find ways to work together, to help each other, to mend our communities.
If you are in need, reach out for help. Tell others what you need most. And accept the help with the understanding that it helps the giver, as well as the receiver.
If you are able to help others, do so. Listen to the needs of those close to you, and help them in the way they need, or the way they communicate their need to you. Reach out to local charities and communities resources, and ask them how you can help. There are ways to help that can be done while maintaining CDC guidelines. You can help by staying home and donating your time or your money. And know that your help, however large or small, is making a difference.
This is how we maintain our well-being. This is how we take back our control, just a little bit, when we feel so out of control. This is how we help, even in the smallest of ways, when we feel so helpless. We help others, and we let others help us.
We can do this. Together.
Be well, stay safe, and take care.